I love waking up early.. listening to thoughtful music and enjoying the nice cool breeze on my back, drinking coffee.. It's like a Folgers comercial. I feel.... at peace. Despite the horrible nightmare that woke me up. It was all about death. Usually death = change? Maybe. I just wish the death wasn't my dad's. I miss him. But I woke up knowing that I'll see him when my time on Earth is done. For some reason, it was a happy thought. But now it is depressing. I know that the dream probably meant a lot of change. My recent ex was in my dream, suffering over the loss of someone close to him. Perhaps we are both changing, now that we're apart? When I was with him, time stood still. I didn't like that. There was no room for growth. Growth is what we all need, from time to time. Changes help you grow into the person you become. Like a flower in the spring time. I really wish I had a special person to express my feelings right now. It is a lonely road, when you're trying to grow as a person without a special someone there to love you. I want to dance, and sing and cry. Cry with tears of joy streaming down my cheeks, as I laugh and enjoy the moment for what it is. Fond is the memory when one is laughing. But there is no one to laugh with. Perhaps this is what one calls Lonliness with a capital L? I want to go back to dreaming, if this is the case. But alas, I can not sleep forever.